titanic mistake

After being a fan of TMI Thursday for awhile, I figured it was my turn to bring something to the party. Nobody likes the guy who shows up and eats all the taco dip and doesn’t bring something along (taco dip is awesome, but the person who figured out the taco seasoning and cream cheese combination is freaking insane). So here goes, and hopefully this makes me less of a moocher.

I was the tender age of 16, and at the time I had a couple friends who worked at the local movie theatre. They were able to get us tickets for opening night for this new big movie coming out, “Titanic”. You may have heard of it.

We meet up at the movie theatre, and it’s madhouse. I find my friends, and we go into the theatre, which is one of those huge stadium-seating ones that seats about 300 or so people. It’s packed when we try to find a seat, and we end up sitting in the middle of the very back row, which is located several zip codes away from the screen.

I soon realize that of the 300 or so people there, I am the only guy. While this would be good odds anywhere else, it’s a pretty foreboding sign for the movie we’re about to see.

The movie starts. The movie goes on and on. And on. I do not like this movie, I have never liked this movie, and I am getting more and more annoyed by this movie the longer it goes on. Finally we get to the point where Kate wakes up floating on the door and tries to get Leo’s attention, but he’s a popsicle. I can hear the crying women all around me, the sniffling and the attempting to keep from sobbing noises. Kate is laying on her floating board, crawls to Leo and says:

“I’ll never let go”

Rip. Plunk.

The theatre is dead quiet as every girl tries to contain their tears. I, unable to hold it back any longer, split the silence with my laughter. This was just too much for me, the movie having crossed the line from romantic to corncheesy about 3 hours ago, and my piercing chortling echoes around the room.

All 300 women in the theatre turn to glare at me. I can feel the hate flying out of their eyes like daggers. I try to stop laughing, and mostly succeed, but it is too late, the damage is done. Nobody talks to me on the way home, and I keep getting hateglares from my friends. I wasn’t the most popular kid in high school to begin with, but my stock just plummeted worse than GM.

At least I learned from this experience: I refuse to go see “Twilight”.