A site of nerdery, life, geekism, and monsters
Archive for September, 2009
teaching bathroom etiquette
Sep 29th
My Wife is a teacher, and if she had a blog she would have far funnier stories than I do. However, if she had a blog, she would probably get fired, because it’s kind of mean to make fun of four-year-olds and that’s apparently against the rules. I like my wife being employed, so I don’t bring it up much (read: “everâ€) here. She has the patience of a thousand suns, and I’m not even sure what that means but I assure you it’s true. I couldn’t do her job (i.e. managing twenty-plus four-year-olds) if they were all on leashes.
The More >
halloween: how to guide for poor kids
Sep 25th
I have a college friend who has a blog at bad guy hideout, and she is hilarious. Ever since her role as Azrael the cat (my roommate was Gargamel in the same play, quick name that show) she’s been driving the funny bus (which is a lot like the short bus, but you’re allowed to laugh at it).
I went to school at University of Wisconsin-Madison, which is famous for its Halloween celebrations. I dove into this festival every year whole-heartedly, sometimes with 2-3 costumes (the Halloween weekend lasts from roughly ‘Thursday noon’ to ‘Sunday whenever you got bacon’). Since I More >
that will be part of the upgrade
Sep 24th
Have you ever been part of a conversation where a couple minutes in you realize that you and the other person are on totally different levels? You think you’re talking about a sandwich you had for lunch and they’re talking about dancing, but you somehow are both using the word “club†and it made sense up until they said something about foam and you said “no, mayo….wait.â€
(User is on speakerphone for the entirety of this conversation)
“Yeah, I can’t get the program to open up.â€
“What program are you trying to open?â€
“The one for the tickets.â€
“Okaaaaay….um, what screen are you on right now?â€
“The…computer More >
canis felonius
Sep 22nd
Over the weekend, Wife and I went to Minneapolis with some good friends to visit some good friends with the intended purpose of drinking much beer and carousing. In that regard, mission accomplished. Mission freaking accomplished. Since our dogs don’t really like Minneapolis much (they hate trying to figure out the roads there) we dropped them off at our parents houses for the weekend. My parents got Leinie and her parents got Tucker, because they’re a handful if you’re not used to them. However, they’re not a handful like you might think.
Tucker has self-esteem issues. That’s right, he’s an emo dog. More >
dirte
Sep 17th
It’s now after Labor Day, and you’re not supposed to wear white anymore, so I gave the ol’ webpage a new look.
Unfortunately, I know one of my shortcomings is any sort of artistic design, and my sense of style is….nonexistent….I need your commentary on if you approve or not.
One of the reasons I got married is because now I have someone in my life who can make this kind of decision for me, but she’s much better at paint and fabric than at html and xml.
And now, for no reason at all, are the best wallpaper backgrounds that we’ve seen More >
phonetics are fun
Sep 16th
I will try to type this as close as I can to how it was actually pronounced. My southern readers may have an easier time of this:
“I’mma fixin ta lahwgin toyit an it won’ doâ€
“…You’re trying to login and it won’t let you?â€
“Yea, it won’ go, sayin wron name er paword er someâ€
“OK, what are you trying to login to?â€
“I dunno, the commuta is ova theahâ€
(Taking a guess that its just the first password she’s having problems with)
“OK, your username should be jsmith, and your password will be capital ‘J’ lowercase ‘s’ one two three four. It will ask you More >
dewey defeats truman
Sep 15th
The polling places are closed and the results are in. It was close but the results are final and binding, because those are the rules I just made up. Unless my team starts sucking, and I feel that the mojo is off, and a team name change is in order. Maybe I’ll even move the team to Detroit; I hear they haven’t had an NFL team there for a couple years.
“FRAGILE PORCELAIN MICE†is now my team, and you’ll be happy to know that they won their first game without even being named. Now I have an equally important task: More >
fumble
Sep 15th
I dropped the ball, I know, I’m sorry. Voting will close TONIGHT, seeing as how I was stupid busy yesterday and so angry at computers in general that I didn’t want to go home and blog, but tonight I think I should be able to give the winning team name a reasonable amount of effort.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLongyoupickum
Sep 10th
Alright ladies and gentlemen, the nominees are in and it’s time to pick. I received a bunch of suggestions through email, and some through other sources, then they went through a rigorous screening process (not really, that’s a lie) to appear before you today. You can vote once per day, and voting will be closed on Tuesday Morning.
what should my team name be? schweaty balls summer’s eve burrito bowl Rudie Johnson’s Stolen Underwear Off Constantly Farvenots Techsavy Asshats Cheese Keeblers Sweet T.D.’s K.F. Powers Fragile Porcelain Mice Fracking Cylons Other (add in comments) pollcode.com free polls http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong More >agony of the feet
Sep 8th
I’ve never had good feet, and I don’t mean that I’m bad at dancing, although that is true as well. My feet have been beat up and uglified over my time on this planet. I played soccer for many years, during which I broke every single toe at some point or other except one. Do you know what you do to fix a broken toe? Nothing. You do nothing. It just hurts until it doesn’t anymore.
So I have hobbit feet, after they climbed through the mountains and into a volcano. I’ve grown to accept this, and just leave my More >
