I will try to type this as close as I can to how it was actually pronounced. My southern readers may have an easier time of this:

“I’mma fixin ta lahwgin toyit an it won’ do”

“…You’re trying to login and it won’t let you?”

“Yea, it won’ go, sayin wron name er paword er some”

“OK, what are you trying to login to?”

“I dunno, the commuta is ova theah”

(Taking a guess that its just the first password she’s having problems with)

“OK, your username should be jsmith, and your password will be capital ‘J’ lowercase ‘s’ one two three four. It will ask you to pick a new password the first time you login”

“Kin I mayk a new wun afda that?”

“…Yes, it will ask you to pick a new password”

“An I kin mayk a new wun?”

“…YES.”

“Is tha awl I need?”

“Besides a speech therapist and a GED, yes.”*

One of the few calls I’ve taken where I’m not actually 100% sure what the problem was, and I hope I fixed what she was asking. Could have been calling in to get the recipe for my grilled lettuce for all I know.

*This line was not actually said.

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