that will be part of the upgrade

Have you ever been part of a conversation where a couple minutes in you realize that you and the other person are on totally different levels?  You think you’re talking about a sandwich you had for lunch and they’re talking about dancing, but you somehow are both using the word “club” and it made sense up until they said something about foam and you said “no, mayo….wait.”

(User is on speakerphone for the entirety of this conversation)

“Yeah, I can’t get the program to open up.”

“What program are you trying to open?”

“The one for the tickets.”

“Okaaaaay….um, what screen are you on right now?”

“The…computer one.”

“OK, yes, the computer screen, what does it say?”

“Nothing, it won’t start the program.”

“Is the screen black and off?”

“No, it just doesn’t say anything.”

“Um, are there any words on the screen?”

“Just the one that says ‘Windows’”

(at this point, I hear someone else walk into room over the speakerphone)

“Excuse me, sir who just walked into the room?  Can you tell me what screen she’s on right now?”

“Uh yeah, she’s on the desktop and has Internet Explorer open, it says ‘Page Cannot Be Displayed’ and looks like it won’t connect.”

“Thank you!”

“No problem.” (helpful guy leaves the room, much to my dismay)

“OK ma’am the program you’re trying to get to is a webpage, not a program.  Can you tell me the address that you’re typing in?”

“It’s my ticket program, it doesn’t have an address.”

“At the top of the screen, where it says www.something, what is in there right now?”

“I don’t have any www.anything, I don’t see that.”

“OK, at the top of that window, do you see Address and then a big white rectangle next to it? What is in there?”

“Oh yes, I see that.  That’s where I typed my program.”

“What did you type in that box?”

“I typed ‘ticket program’ and pressed Go.”

“Ma’am, you need to type the address of the page you’re going to in there, not just the name of what you want, the computer doesn’t know what you’re trying to do.  You need to tell the computer the right address so it knows where to go.”

“What address should I put in there?”

“I don’t know.  Check with your supervisor if you don’t know what you’re supposed to be accessing and receive some training for your role.”

Ug.  Felt like someone kicked me in the chest.  That was a 15 minute conversation, punctuated by lots of awkward pauses as I tried to think up ways to ask a question without making her feel stupid and me sound like a jerk.