A site of nerdery, life, geekism, and monsters
Archive for December, 2009
blank tuesday #5
Dec 29th
It’s back and better than a shirtless, mulleted redneck with hay in it’s mouth; blank tuesday returns with a vengeance.
I apologize if anyone suffered traumatic nightmares or daydreams or really any sort of mental image caused by the visceral horror that was last week’s image.
It was hard to pick a winner this week, mainly because this idiot could pretty much say anything. There isn’t an insane enough combination of words that this guy wouldn’t say.
And the winner is:
Daffy may or may not have giant lips, have a hairspray and post-it addiction, or pee on people’s feet. One of those More >
fragile porcelain mice
Dec 28th
Remember way back when I had all my lovely readers pick my fantasy football team name?
Well the season has ended and the results are in:
FRAGILE PORCELAIN MICE has triumphed!
That’s right folks, even though I had the worst/best team name and a pretty awful team, I managed to win the big game, a small pile of money, and most importantly, bragging rights amongst my friends until next season.
I know most of the folks reading this probably don’t give a Bengal’s ass about fantasy football or even football in general, but I won something and I’m damned sure going to talk about More >
blank tuesday #4
Dec 22nd
Man oh man, you guys did not make it easy on me this week. Hungry Hungry Grandma apparently brings out the best in you, which frankly is even more wrong than the image itself. But I love you nonetheless.
This week I am going to pick two winners because I just couldn’t decide between them, but let me reiterate how hard it was to pick winners this week because they all made me laugh. A lot. Too much so for being at work and on the phone with customers.
“What are you laughing at? My computer isn’t that funny!â€
“No ma’am it’s not More >
it was ok, wherever it was
Dec 21st
Another screenshot directly from our work logs.
Just read the underlined part at the top, then skip ahead to the circled part at the bottom. All those words in the middle basically translate to “tried computery things and wasted a lot of timeâ€
Technically, the printer cable was perfectly fine; it was just laying on the floor unharmed.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLonginstructions for use
Dec 18th
Here on the help desk, we can’t help but compare notes and compile lists of “suggestions†for the folks who call in. I can’t take credit for this list, but by George it’s Friday and we all need a laugh:
Instructions from the I.T. Department
1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art.
2. Don’t ever write anything down, especially the error message that was on your screen.
3. If we ask what the last thing you did was, More >
i am a highly trained computer technician
Dec 17th
Every single day, I work with people who make mistakes on the computer because they just don’t know better. I have very little issue with this type of problem because nobody is born knowing everything about computers; it’s a learning process and hopefully the user won’t make the same mistake again next time. I’d say about 95% of the people I talk to have simple issues that they just haven’t learned how to fix yet, and thus are exempt from my scorn and ridicule.
I have a few exceptions to this rule:
1. The person who calls in three times a week More >
blank tuesday #3
Dec 15th
Once again, my followers have proved that they are funnier than me, and better looking. While I’m not 100% sure, I’m pretty positive that one of the men in this picture is Nicolas Sarkozy, President of the French Republic. While I can’t tell you anything about any of his policies (c’mon it’s France, who cares?) I can tell you that he is very short and often stands on a box behind the podium. You can’t make this stuff up.
Now to declare the winner for tuesday #2 before moving on to this week’s contest. It was a close race down to More >
here we come a wassailing
Dec 13th
Last Christmas, I had done a post about my least favorite Christmastime songs. Even though we’re still two weeks away from the big day, the radio stations around here have been playing 24-hour Christmas music since mid-July, and it’s once again wearing on my nerves.
All of my picks from last year are still valid complaints; I still hate them. However I now hate “Wonderful Christmas Time†by Paul McCartney and Wings even more, so I’d bump that up a couple notches. By any measure, it’s a terrible song. Anyhate…
A lot of the pop songs this year have had just absolutely More >
blank tuesday #2
Dec 8th
Thank you all for participating and for making Tuesday not suck. Whoever these eastern-European-looking tennis players are, I’m sure they’re back in some swarthy nightclub drinking anise flavored liquor and cursing you all, which is just as it should be.
The winner of the inaugural “blank tuesday†is: Alice lives over at Alice’s Wonderland and likes to strap her cats in the backseat so that it makes noises like a car with a dying battery trying to start. And by “likes to†I of course mean “hates toâ€; and by “noises like a car with a dying battery trying to start†I of course More >
