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things learned by living
Ducky over at Batcrap Crazy (one of the folks going to TAR by the way; have you signed up yet?) like to throw down some life lessons she has learned and then asked us to join in. Â I figured I’d share my experiences and hopefully prevent you from making the same mistakes I did. Â Not that I’m admitting to any of these mistakes. Â It was a friend…who lived in Canada…you don’t know them.
#112 Mixing crappy coffee with crappy hot chocolate mix only produces a crappy mocha. Â It does not in fact create some magical elixir that you enjoy drinking.
#21 Drinking twenty-seven Jagerbombs in one night will not actually make you drunk; it will however prevent you from sleeping for a week.
#802 Not all entrances and exits at stores are automatic open. Â If you stand there staring at if for more than a couple seconds, odds are that its a push. Â Also, odds are the employees noticed.
#4 Learn the difference between “reply” and “reply all.” And then double check before pressing “send.”
#271 Pets are not kids. While this could be quite a lengthy lesson on the differences between human children and animals that live in your house, I’ll just mention two quick points: nobody wants to hear about your pets, and nobody wants you to bring them with you. Â The quicker you learn this, the sooner you will be invited back to parties.
#70 When the dentist asks if you floss, just say no. Â They can tell that you’re lying.
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about 1 year ago
In the above scenario, pets and kids are pretty much the same. No one wants to hear about either and you definitely shouldn’t bring either to parties.
However, spending thousands of dollars on medical care when you find out your CAT has leukemia is just ridiculous; but if you put your kid down without spending thousands of dollars on medical care, you’re probably going to get the stink-eye from everyone you know.
about 1 year ago
lmbo I have seen my kids do the door thing and I come up behind them and go look it has a handle you PULL it like this ..
about 1 year ago
Dude. I love you for #271.
I wonder if they will get the message?
Also, amen to #21, only substitute “3″ for “27″ for me.
about 1 year ago
I’m SO buying you a bazillion Jagerbombs while in St. Louis. The drive back will be a breeze for you!
Oh how I laughed at these….the employees noticed….bwaaahaaaa
And the coffee mocha thing….ewwwww! My refined coffee palate is gagging for you
about 1 year ago
That reply to all one. Yeah, I could’ve used that one years ago!
about 1 year ago
i cannot just tell the dentist no. it has to be some weird, shady, stuttered version of “yearrrrmmaaaybnoooo i dont floss. i know you know.” and then it gets weird.
i fix this by just not going to the dentist. works everytime, man.
about 1 year ago
Will you be offering these rules in laminated, wallet-sized versions? I could use one.
about 1 year ago
haha I’ve done the door thing several times… I’m not proud.
about 1 year ago
WHAAATT?!?! They can actually tell if you haven’t flossed? Great.
about 1 year ago
I’m SO buying you a bazillion Jagerbombs while in St. Louis. The drive back will be a breeze for you!
Oh how I laughed at these….the employees noticed….bwaaahaaaa
And the coffee mocha thing….ewwwww! My refined coffee palate is gagging for you