A site of nerdery, life, geekism, and monsters
Posts tagged dialogue
nerd humor
May 26th
What if Sauron had a lazy eye?
You remember Sauron, right? From Lord of the Rings? Â The really bad guy that had a giant eye in his tower?
Aragorn: “Is…is he looking at us?”
Gandalf: “Shit, I can never tell.”
Gandalf: “Frodo, as you cross into Mordor, be careful to not let the gaze of Sauron fall upon you!”
Frodo: “Dammit Gandalf, I can’t ever tell what he’s looking at anyway, how am I supposed to know?”
Sauron: “Hello little hobbits, I see yo-…damn, wait…great. Â Now I’m looking at France.”
Sauron: “Is there anything I can do?”
Eye doctor: “Well I can put a patch over your good More >
that will be part of the upgrade
Sep 24th
Have you ever been part of a conversation where a couple minutes in you realize that you and the other person are on totally different levels? You think you’re talking about a sandwich you had for lunch and they’re talking about dancing, but you somehow are both using the word “club†and it made sense up until they said something about foam and you said “no, mayo….wait.â€
(User is on speakerphone for the entirety of this conversation)
“Yeah, I can’t get the program to open up.â€
“What program are you trying to open?â€
“The one for the tickets.â€
“Okaaaaay….um, what screen are you on right now?â€
“The…computer More >
phonetics are fun
Sep 16th
I will try to type this as close as I can to how it was actually pronounced. My southern readers may have an easier time of this:
“I’mma fixin ta lahwgin toyit an it won’ doâ€
“…You’re trying to login and it won’t let you?â€
“Yea, it won’ go, sayin wron name er paword er someâ€
“OK, what are you trying to login to?â€
“I dunno, the commuta is ova theahâ€
(Taking a guess that its just the first password she’s having problems with)
“OK, your username should be jsmith, and your password will be capital ‘J’ lowercase ‘s’ one two three four. It will ask you More >
my bike chain cried out
Jul 23rd
“Did you hear the guy who made WD-40 died?”
“Yeah, what are we going to do without him?”
“…Squeak?” http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong
america has three bad judges
Jun 24th
Let me just get this out there right away: I do not like “reality” TV. I have many complaints about it, from being just as fake as anything scripted to the sheer stupidity of some of the concepts, but all in all let’s just say I’m not a fan. I’ve only seen a couple episodes of “Idol”, and even though Gokey was our hometown boy, I couldn’t pick him out of a lineup if you told me which number he was. Between every reality show ever made, I think I’ve watched less than 10 episodes combined.
Last night was the regular More >
May 14th
Can we all just agree that Nancy Pelosi is an idiot?
Either she is too dumb to understand the CIA briefing they gave her, or she wasn’t paying attention when they brought up waterboarding. Either way, not a good thing for the leader of the majority party.
“So Ms. Pelosi, we have the option of using waterboarding as an EIT and it has proven effective when we’ve employed this method….Ms. Pelosi?”
“Hang on one minute, I just got a text message from Susan Sarandon….’lol sue u make me laff’….ok, what was that you were saying?”
“I said that we’ve been using techniques that we’ve More >
pinstripes aren’t THAT slimming
Dec 10th
I live in Milwaukee, WI and have been a lifelong Brewers fan. The last time the Brewers made the postseason was 1982, when I was 1 year old. This last year, they made the playoffs again, and managed to win more games than our division rivals the Cubs have in the last four years (combined. Ha, suck it Cubs).
So today they announced that CC is going to sign with the Yankees, and I’m filled with sadness. Not for the Brewers, although signing a big name like him might have actually signaled that pro athletes care about more than money. If More >
