A site of nerdery, life, geekism, and monsters
Posts tagged tech support
security question fun
Apr 18th
We support a payroll application that let’s users login and check their paystubs and W2′s and such online. Â If a user forgets their password to this site, there is a little link underneath the password box that says “Forgot your password?” in big blue letters. Â If a user is calling us to get help logging in, this means they have already missed the easiest way to fix their problem (the link) and have instead opted to wait on hold a couple minutes and then frustrate one of our technicians.
In order for one of us to reset the password, there is More >
it’s not just users
Mar 11th
Sometimes even the people employed to be technical support are almost as clueless as the users are. Â At my company there is one guy in particular that should have been fired a long time ago but somehow manages to keep hanging on. Â We all have someone like that in our office, and if they were to get fired today, the only tears shed would be from those who got the news late and missed out on raiding their desk for office supplies.
Here is a ticket I had escalated to me the other day from this person, only edited to remove More >
practice makes perfect
May 19th
“I can’t seem to get in, it keeps telling me the password or username is wrong.”
“Sir, I can see that you spelled your last name wrong, that’s why it’s not working.”
“Well, how do I spell it?”
“…it’s your last name, sir…”
“With an ‘n’ at the end?”
“…it’s your last name.”
“Ok, that worked. Â Huh, wonder why it didn’t before.”
“Me too.” *
* I was referring to his brain.
I know you don’t come here for this kind of thing, because when I tend to write things that aren’t funny I tend to lose readers, but please bear with me, it’s short I promise.
temporal awareness
May 18th
The customer is not always right, at least when it comes to indisputable facts:
“I’m sorry to bug you, but I can’t remember any of my passwords this morning. Â Just seem to forgot all of them; it’s really a Monday morning so far.”
“Actually sir, it’s a Tuesday.”
“…dammit!”
I almost didn’t tell him, he sounded so sad.
It’s little tidbits like this that keep you coming back.
just guessing
May 13th
First one from today:
“Why is my account locked out?”
“Because you typed in the password wrong.”
“Why did I type it in wrong?”
“…Dyslexia?”
Second one, overheard:
“Darlin, if your computer isn’t connected to the internet, it isn’t going to get online!…..No, the internet is not in your computer…”
Gotta love explaining the basics of decades-old technology
Third one today:
“I’m going to uninstall Yahoo! Messenger on your computer because it might be causing your performance issues.”
“Oh, don’t uninstall that, I need it!”
“Um, you do? Â It isn’t an approved program to have on your computer, you know. Â How do you use it for work?”
“If I don’t get to talk to More >
still waiting on that x-wing
May 6th
Recently I was at a wedding reception, and someone at our table had some inane question along the lines of “who was that band had that one song with the lyrics, ‘dances in the sand?’” Â No fewer than four people pulled out their various smartphones, iPhones, or Blackberrys and began searching for the answer as fast as their 3G connection would allow.
And then it hit me: when did the future get here?
We have technology that people could only dream of in Star Trek, with their little tricorders (what three things it record, anyway?) and their little communicators. Â We’re a transporter More >
hot tub outlook inbox
Apr 13th
“My email isn’t coming until the day after people send it!”
This is actually a fairly common problem, and nine times out of ten, here’s the problem:
The eagle-eyed among you may notice that the “Today” group is collapsed, which would cause any email to only be visible when it moves into the “Yesterday” group.
I hope I have saved you some trouble if this happens to you. Â Back to the story…
I remote to the person’s computer so see if this is what she is doing, but no, all her groups are expanded and she can see all of her emails.
“Ma’am, can you More >
at least they weren’t frozen
Mar 31st
User: “Yes, we have a bunch of laptops and they’re all locked up!”
Me: “OK, were they all online when they got locked up?” Â Most of this company’s programs are web-based, so I wanted to find out if their internet connection dropped.
User: “I don’t know, but now we can’t do anything.”
Me: “OK, can you press Control, Alt, Delete?”
User: “No, it’s locked up. Â We can’t do anything”
Me: “What do you have on the screen right now?”
User: “I don’t know! They’re all in the office and the door is locked!”
Me: “Oh! The computers are locked up in an office and you need a More >
short one
Feb 25th
i didn’t know they changed that
Feb 22nd
As usual, this is an actual call from an actual person. Â I don’t have the ability to make this up:
Her: “I’m typing in my password and it’s not working.”
Me:Â ”OK, that happens to a lot of people, don’t worry. Â What are you trying to login to?”
Her: “I need to get my paycheck information. Â I think it’s because I can’t type a capital seven.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Her: “How do I type a capital seven?”
Me: “…Do you mean the ampersand symbol?” Â (&)
Her: “No, like a big seven.”
Me :”…As opposed to a small seven?”
Several beats of silence. Â I hear typing clicking in the background.
Her:Â ”Nope, More >
