Posts tagged tech support

never to be found again

Feb 3rd

Posted by jeff in blog

13 comments

One of the many varieties of callers that we get is “The Automaton.”  This type of user is trained to do their job by rote instead of understanding what it is they are actually doing.  All they know is that if they click the mouse here and type this word here the computer won’t yell at them.

If any small change to their work environment occurs, this will cause immense mental anguish and angry phone calls.

The following conversation took place when I was able to see the user’s screen.  She had recently installed a new program, which added one more program in her Start More >

who’s on first

Jan 19th

Posted by jeff in blog

7 comments

If you’ve ever wondered why tech support people are cranky, here’s probably the conversation they had right before you called.  This is an actual transcript of a conversation between the service desk and end user yesterday:

User:  I can’t long in

Tech:  What does it say on your screen when you try?

User:  ”Locked out” or “invalid password something……”

Tech:  Ok, I unlocked your account, please type in your password again

User:  What password?

Tech:  The password you normally type into this login screen

User:  My new one or the old one?

Tech:  Did you change your password recently?

User:  No

Tech:  Type in the last one you used to get logged More >

it was ok, wherever it was

Dec 21st

Posted by jeff in blog

6 comments

Another screenshot directly from our work logs.

Just read the underlined part at the top, then skip ahead to the circled part at the bottom.  All those words in the middle basically translate to “tried computery things and wasted a lot of time”

 

Technically, the printer cable was perfectly fine; it was just laying on the floor unharmed.

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instructions for use

Dec 18th

Posted by jeff in blog

5 comments

Here on the help desk, we can’t help but compare notes and compile lists of “suggestions” for the folks who call in.  I can’t take credit for this list, but by George it’s Friday and we all need a laugh:

Instructions from the I.T. Department

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art.

2. Don’t ever write anything down, especially the error message that was on your screen.

3. If we ask what the last thing you did was, More >

i am a highly trained computer technician

Dec 17th

Posted by jeff in blog

5 comments

Every single day, I work with people who make mistakes on the computer because they just don’t know better.  I have very little issue with this type of problem because nobody is born knowing everything about computers; it’s a learning process and hopefully the user won’t make the same mistake again next time.  I’d say about 95% of the people I talk to have simple issues that they just haven’t learned how to fix yet, and thus are exempt from my scorn and ridicule.

I have a few exceptions to this rule:

1. The person who calls in three times a week More >

,

just like shawshank

Nov 24th

Posted by jeff in blog

8 comments

I don’t know what’s going on today but it’s epic, let me tell you.  Epic.

“When I open Word and try to open this file, it doesn’t show up.  But when I look in My Documents I can see it.  Why doesn’t it show up when I try to open it in Word?”

“Because it’s an Excel file.”

“How do I open it?”

“Double-click it.”

“Wow!  That worked!  Why won’t it open in Word?”

“Because it’s an Excel file.”

“Do I have to double click Excel files to open them?”

(the narrator in my brain kicks in, which sounds like Morgan Freeman for some reason):

Now what do we More >

you can tell its friday when…

Nov 20th

Posted by jeff in blog

9 comments

…I get kind of surly on the phone.

“It looks like your computer has picked up some adware that’s causing those popups; I’m just going to run a quick scan that will remove that and clear out some of your temporary files.”

“But will I lose anything? I don’t want to lose anything!”

“No ma’am, it just deletes the copy of every web page you’ve gone to, you shouldn’t need that anymore.”

“But what if it’s important?”

“It’s not important.  They’re just temporary files.”

“Define important.”

“Some people think saving their toenail clippings is important.  This is about that same level of importance.”

I hope to not have More >

awww

Nov 12th

Posted by jeff in blog

3 comments

It’s not often when I get to close a ticket that has the solution: “had user turn on computer”. 

Yet, it happened just now.

Amazingly, she was able to figure out how to use the phone to call me.

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why didn’t i think of that

Nov 3rd

Posted by jeff in blog

6 comments

“How may I help you?”

“The website won’t let me login, I’m trying to submit my reports to the state.”

“Well ma’am we don’t control the passwords for that website, they have their own passwords. You’ll need to contact them.”

“Hang on, let me try something…[sounds of furious typing] no, that didn’t work. What should I try?”

“Uh, well, you should try contacting the 800 number at the bottom of the webpage, we don’t control this password, the website does their own passwords.”

“Hmm, let me try something else…[more furious clicking and typing] nope that didn’t do it either. What should I do next?”

“Like I More >

see much?

Nov 2nd

Posted by jeff in blog

6 comments

Me: “Thank you for calling, what can I help you with?”

Him: “I was just wondering if my computer has external speakers.”

Me: “Do you see any external speakers?”

Him: “No…”

Me: “Then I’m going to go with no.”

Him: “Hmmmm…”

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