A site of nerdery, life, geekism, and monsters
Posts tagged tech support
gilbert? is that you?
Oct 23rd
I just took a call from a user that had me at a loss for words. The entire time I was on the phone with her, there was an incredibly loud and annoying bird squaking in the background. In fact, it was so irritating, I have to assume that it was actually on the shoulder of the person I was talking to.
There are only three reasons this is acceptable:
1. She has never talked on a phone before
2. She is a pirate.
3. She is Jaffar, and Iago is trying to sell me Aflac insurance.
Using the process of More >
decaf
Oct 13th
“OK ma’am, I’ve reset your password to a temporary one, and it will ask you to pick a new one for yourself the first time you login. Your temporary password is capital C-“
“Capital C?! Is that it?! That’s much too short!â€
“-no ma’am I wasn’t even close to done.â€
Anxious much?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLongdon’t lick that pig
Oct 2nd
“Yes, I need a username and password to register for the testing.â€
“OK, what are you trying to login to?â€
“The webpage where I can sign up for testing.â€
“What website is that?â€
“The Department of Health website to sign up for H1N1 testing, I need to sign up everyone here.â€
“…ma’am, this is the computer support desk for your company, you’ll probably need to contact the Department of Health for that, since it’s their website.â€
“Oh, I can’t get you to do that?â€
“No ma’am, not until H1N1 starts affecting computers.â€
Well, it is a virus.
(ba dum bum)
http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong More >that will be part of the upgrade
Sep 24th
Have you ever been part of a conversation where a couple minutes in you realize that you and the other person are on totally different levels? You think you’re talking about a sandwich you had for lunch and they’re talking about dancing, but you somehow are both using the word “club†and it made sense up until they said something about foam and you said “no, mayo….wait.â€
(User is on speakerphone for the entirety of this conversation)
“Yeah, I can’t get the program to open up.â€
“What program are you trying to open?â€
“The one for the tickets.â€
“Okaaaaay….um, what screen are you on right now?â€
“The…computer More >
dirte
Sep 17th
It’s now after Labor Day, and you’re not supposed to wear white anymore, so I gave the ol’ webpage a new look.
Unfortunately, I know one of my shortcomings is any sort of artistic design, and my sense of style is….nonexistent….I need your commentary on if you approve or not.
One of the reasons I got married is because now I have someone in my life who can make this kind of decision for me, but she’s much better at paint and fabric than at html and xml.
And now, for no reason at all, are the best wallpaper backgrounds that we’ve seen More >
phonetics are fun
Sep 16th
I will try to type this as close as I can to how it was actually pronounced. My southern readers may have an easier time of this:
“I’mma fixin ta lahwgin toyit an it won’ doâ€
“…You’re trying to login and it won’t let you?â€
“Yea, it won’ go, sayin wron name er paword er someâ€
“OK, what are you trying to login to?â€
“I dunno, the commuta is ova theahâ€
(Taking a guess that its just the first password she’s having problems with)
“OK, your username should be jsmith, and your password will be capital ‘J’ lowercase ‘s’ one two three four. It will ask you More >
wrong number wrong number oh god
Sep 3rd
It’s been a long time since I had a tech support post, mostly because nothing funny has happened for awhile. This one has immediately made it into my top ten. As always, names have been changed to protect the nutjob.
“Thank you for calling, can I have your name please?â€
“Yes, it’s Nadia Fewlisten".â€
“How can I help you Nadia?â€
“Well, I have some questions about my insurance coverage and what procedures are covered.â€
“Uh, ma’am, this is the Tech Support number, we fix your computers. I think you want to speak to the benefits department.â€
(start looking up the department extension for benefits so I More >
a disorganized mind
Aug 5th
With the tornado blowing through our house (seriously, it looks like a wedding threw up in our guest bedroom), it is hard to focus on anything for more than a couple minutes. Therefore, today’s installment will be about as non-sequitur as my brain right now.
“Please follow the cable from your computer and tell me what it plugs into.”“It goes to this little box.”“And what does the little box plug into?”“Nothing.”“It plugs into nothing? There are no other cords coming out of it whatsoever?”“No, nothing, just this one.”“Well I think we found the problem, your computer isn’t connected to the internet More >
…sorry?
Jul 24th
I’m just putting this ticket in unaltered as I think the original wording cannot be improved upon.
Summary:Client called to ask “Did I know about the thing she needed to finish for today.”
Work log:Told her, “No, I don’t”Client was still confused, said she would check with her admin.Hung up on me.
Solution:No action taken.
Root Cause:User error. http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong
or a cupcake maybe
Jul 15th
I’ve been debating posting this today, as I don’t think my words can adequately convey the emotions present in this story. I’ve talked to two people this morning who had locked out their accounts because they entered the wrong password three times. Both people were very much upset; not at their password or the stupid computer, but at themselves for entering their password wrong. They kept beating themselves up over it, and the sorrow in their voice was just making me feel really bad for them:
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did this, but I must have had More >
