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Posts tagged tech support
ripped from the headlines
May 12th
from a case log, and keep in mind this user has called multiple times with similar issues:
Asked client if she was right clicking, or left clicking.Client said she was clicking the right mouse button.Told the client to click the left mouse button.
Client is now able to send her order
Spend a few minutes explaining to client the different between Right and left clicking, and suggested because she is Right handed, that she always click with the left mouse button ( Index finger ) when trying to click on links or complete orders. http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong
so many wires
May 7th
Overheard:
“So I want you to find the network cable on the back of your computer….it should look kind of like a telephone cord but a little wider….yes, it might be black….ok, I think that was the power cord. Your computer is probably off right now? Plug it back in and press the power button….” http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong
revenge
Apr 21st
“Hi, my boss needs his password reset, can you do that?”“Actually no, due to security constraints and rules with federal regulation in our industry, it is strictly against the rules to give out password information to anyone other than the person whose account it is”“But I know his password, can you reset it?”“No”“He’s really busy and doesn’t have time, can you just do it this time?”“No”“I’m his assistant, I should be able to reset his password”“No. Is he there right now?”“Yes! He’s right here!”“Can I talk to him and then I can reset it?”“Um…no, he’s….busy….”“Have him call us when he’s More >
are you even looking?
Apr 21st
“On the back of the computer, do you see the network cable?”“No”“Are there any cables plugged in at all?”“No”“..Um, what does your mouse and keyboard plug into?”“The back of the computer here”“So there are cables plugged in?”“Yes”“OK, can you tell me where the network cable goes?”“It goes to the box, it says Linksys”“Are there any other cables plugged into that box?”“No”“Is there a power cord or any other network cables plugged into it?”“No”“So this is the only thing plugged into the box?”“No, there are others here too.”
OH MY GOD. This went on for 20 more minutes. Seriously, blame your coworkers More >
quothe the raven
Mar 30th
IM conversation between me and another tech here:Marc [7:29 AM]: me: VCPI can I help you? caller: Its all gone! me: What is all gone? caller: Everything! And my screen is red…. me: ???
Jeff [7:31 AM]: red screen of death? sounds like a Poe tech manual http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong
equations
Mar 3rd
I apologize in advance for this one, as it probably is only funny to technicians and people I work with.
This is the equation of how hardware can be more easily identified:
TV = MonitorMonitor = ComputerComputer = NeowareNeoware = ModemModem = Jet DirectJet Direct = I don’t see one of those
By the transitive property, computers don’t exist. http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong
like a confused college freshman, it goes both ways
Mar 3rd
her: “My keyboard isn’t working and the lights for Capslock and Numlock won’t light up”
me: “Alright, it sounds like it may not be connected to your computer. Can I get you to find the cable that comes out of the keyboard and tell me where it plugs in?”
her: “OK (noises of stuff being moved around) hmmm, well it looks like it just goes into plastic”
me: “Um, what?”
her: “Yeah, the cord just kind of goes into plastic, and I can’t see the plug. Did it come loose inside of there maybe?”
me: “….are you looking at the computer or the keyboard?”
her: “The More >
well thanks i guess
Jan 29th
why start now
Jan 28th
The technician next to me just gave me this gem:
user: “Wait, this isn’t going to require me to think? I don’t like to do work that makes me think”
Either this person is the smartest human being ever of all time, or she’s the village idiot; there is no in between on this one.
Logically, think about it.
That is, if you’re not opposed to doing some thinking. http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong
vocabulary of common things
Jan 23rd
Related to me by coworker:
him: “Where does the network cable plug into?”
user: “Into the….yeah.”
him: “Was that the wall?”
user: “Yeah, this thing.”
him: “What is ‘this thing’? Is it a wall?”
user: “Um, oh yeah.”
After connecting the network cable, she then has questions about printing.
user: “So, do i need paper in the printer to print?”
him: “Yes, you need paper”
I think there were a number of better responses here that he could have gone with:“No, this model prints on tortillas, so you better get some of those”“NO! You NEVER put paper in a printer! Are you crazy?!”“Only if you want to be able to More >
